I Confess I’m an Imperfect Mother

It’s so funny how this came about. Years ago I had plans to write a book titled Confessions of A Teen-aged mom. Don’t ask me what happened, I guess life took its toll and the book got lost. It may still come about one day.

I had plans of writing how my first child came and living through the pain of being shunned from my previous church. There were chapters on midnight feedings and how I was too tired and fell asleep breastfeeding. Along with many other chapters like anger and children, confessions of a single mom, suicidal roller-coaster and the like.

I feel like I’ve been through it all. I’ve got battle scars to prove my journey. Two failed relationships, one failed marriage, custody battles, living paycheck to paycheck paying for daycare and private school on my own and fears through the marriage I am in.

I’ve been compared, knocked down, looked over, mentally and emotionally abused and what have you. Who hasn’t?

Nonetheless, this day I get up every morning with new hope and a greater vision to seek God’s best in my life and the lives of my children.

But I am not perfect. I just laid that out. I’m not the screaming mom that takes single leaps in a bound when my boy’s cry. I am not the super organized mom or the mom that has her child in 10,000 biblical activities through the year. I’m not the mom that never catches an attitude or wakes up super early to start breakfast. I second that. I am certainly not the mom who get’s all her house work done, home school’s perfectly, nurtures perfectly or loves perfectly but these are very broad subjects.

If the chance comes I’m making a pizza and calling it dinner. I try to limit T.V. but sometimes, when I’m tired, there are pajama days. Sometimes dishes are left in my sink and the dirt on the floor may linger a few weeks.

Sometimes I don’t get dressed or even brush my teeth (don’t judge me).

But who is all these things?

Who has it together all the time? And if you do, then you are your own Saviour because there is no need.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (ESV)

I fail and I fall. You got me. But I’m still growing. That’s the important thing.

I’m so imperfect and yet so glad that I am. Because through these imperfections God shows me how to slow down and catch up on life, the fun free one. He shows me to depend on him for his strength, his wisdom and his control. Not to compare myself to another mother or woman and what he has set before them. What God has given me is for me.

My crazy busy life, my personality, my husband, my struggles, my children, my ridiculous strength, my annoying yet amazing family, It’s all for Nykiah, because it’s apart of his work within me and the end of the story.

I am imperfect but He is stronger when I am weak and greater in my vulnerabilities. I am exactly what he wants me to be and how he needs me now. So that his glory can be completed in me. I’m just a dented, chipped, puzzle piece learning how to fit in his plan and stand where he wants me on the stage. I’m dress rehearsing for the real thing when all my responsibility will be to bow down and worship the king of kings.

I didn’t use to can but I do now. I never made pizza dough but I do now. I don’t have any girls, but I have boys. I don’t have a huge house but I have one. I don’t have long hair, but it’s healthy. I don’t always say the right things but I’m working on it.  I love God and I love people. Isn’t that really the point of all of this? Aren’t these really what the Lord has asked of us?

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him.  “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”  And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22: 34-40 (ESV)

So while I’m focusing on what I’m not and who I could be, He is looking at greater things.

Praise God if another mom does more than me, praise God if another mom does less. We all have one thing in common, Jesus, his love and his work; Or that we love what we do and we are crazy for doing it!

I hope you can see your imperfections as another reason to give Christ your life. For someone already perfect needing nothing, it wouldn’t be a lot.

Trust him today and walk on the path he has you. Whether crazy and blessed or worst and a mess. Trust Him. And by all means, rejoice with other moms and women for their strength, humility and work that they were called to! (In other words, don’t hate, congratulate!)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

signature2

Linking up with: Wedded Wednesday and thebettermom

Advertisements

HOW MY WEEKEND ENDED WITH MELTED CRAYONS

Has anyone seen that picture of the tired mother at the doctor being diagnosed with children floating around Facebook? Well that exactly sums up my weekend. Bummed. Pooped. Need I go on?

All in all I had a very great and productive time this weekend with family and friends and of course my kids. 🙂

Being as though my weekend was a bit busy, I never got around to sharing our resurrection craft. I figured I’d share some pictures of our weekend activities while I’m at it. Friday kicked off and amazing service at my church which was our first Good Friday service (It was so awesome!) Saturday My beau and I dated my oldest son which turned out amazing. (There were so many children at Chuck E Cheese!…noise, noise, and noise. LOL) And Sunday morning was our church service in which I served in our toddler room (amazing resurrection crafting for the kiddos) and that night ended up with a feast  and eggs all over the place.  We did a resurrection scavenger hunt that turned out good too!

I love being reminded about Jesus’ love and seeing that with his power and strength I can walk the way he did. AHHHHH Jesus!

Ok. Ok. So here’s our craft from Thursday.

IMG_6982

We colored some pasta shells and cracked them up, then we glued them on to halved cake boards.

IMG_6984

My littlest loved making colors in the bags!

IMG_6986 IMG_6987 IMG_6988 IMG_6992

I didn’t have any glitter so we colored sugar with alcohol and food coloring. which came out good but we should have let it dry more first.

IMG_6994

In the end it was supposed to say “Jesus is Risen” but they liked the gloppy look better. Eh, twas their project.

IMG_6995 IMG_6996

I had serious issues with the left over shells we had left. So I made my own shell creation. It says Jesus. I will eventually put it on canvas.

IMG_7000

They learned a lot through their lesson!

IMG_7003

Making Pretzels..

IMG_7004

Trying to get the perfect twist

IMG_7005

My littlest said, “take a picture of mine MOMMYY!!!”

IMG_7006

All knotted up 🙂

IMG_7007

Done and Delish!

IMG_7008 IMG_7009

Today I decided to make crayons with them. I hated taking the wrappers off of our broken crayons.

IMG_7011

So I put them in warm water. Do you see them unraveling?

IMG_7012

IMG_7013-001

So as you can see, we have had a pretty productive weekend. I have more pictures but figured that was enough. LOL

Hopefully the week gives the same impression.

-Choose Love