HOPE FOR THE WORKING MOM

howtotrainasuperhero

We work like a dog all day. We come home without chance to unravel what our mind has been trying to comprehend since early morning.. to bright faces with missing teeth asking and begging for our attention. So we put our bags down and scoop up a handful of motherly love and our night shift begins.

I know how you feel….To not have enough time to spend with your children because most of your night involved your commute home.

And I know it gets worst.

You feel overwhelmed and under heard. Your mind is set to accomplish your many tasks of the day and before you know it your precious baby ended up watching T.V all day….but you got all your work done. You’ll do better tomorrow. But tomorrows to-do list looks just like today’s.

Motherhood. It has me down in the dumps. Too many times I’ve yelled for them to stop yelling at each other. I’ve sat them down to stare one another eye ball to eyeball. I’ve enforced punishments that exited their favorite’s. I’ve tripped over the last toy I can take and I don’t really feel like cooking. I’ve been doing laundry for the last three weeks and there are too many deadlines to meet. I’m tired and cranky and fighting for grace.

Motherhood.

Who called me to this?

God did. From the beginning of time he commands me to raise my children and nurture and care for them. He commands me to be their mother. (Genesis 1:28)

Times get tough. I lose a few marbles or some of them get loose. I lose sight of the benefit of serving and caring for my family.

2 Corinthians 4:1-18

Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up. We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this.

If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.
You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.
But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus,will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you.  All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
This passage is titled Treasures in Jars of Clay.
What does that mean?
Possibly that somewhere underneath all the lack of sleep and to-do lists, God is molding and shaping us for our benefit…for his.
Perhaps that our families are being likened to his glory. So just think of it like this. Through all the rubble is a treasure to be held. One that marks eternity as it’s destination. So while you’re going crazy half the time. God is working. perfecting you, them. He holds the clay and kneads it well…And in the end it turns out to be just like he imagined.
So don’t be weary in your well-doing. Let patience have its perfect work. God’s gift and call can never be withdrawn. (Rom 11:29) He made us for this.
So there’s hope for us. Us working moms.

Protecting the purity: How to shepherd your children

I think I’ve stressed about the importance of this issue enough over the pass few years. Enough to go crazy.

I’m a single mom with broken influence in my home. My boys don’t have a model at home to see. There is no father at home influencing them, who is active and able to discern through situations and step up.

I’m grateful for the men that my boys have in their lives, besides their fathers, who influence them biblically and walk with them. But when they go home, it’s just me and my babies.

My babies.

One day they will be men who acquire wives, and children and a life of their own. One day they will be accountable for what I’ve taught them about God. We are just practicing right now for the big test against the world.

The test that may take them by the foot and drag them through circumstance and tribulation.

Will they be able to stand? Will they know that there is a God who understands them? Will they run to him for safety? Will they know how to treat a woman? That It’s not okay to uncover her purity? Will they be leaders that shepherd well? Will they be respectable, hardworking and wise?

These are the things that I want for them. I’m certain that God agrees though the journey to become those men of integrity I am not sure.

Boys struggle. We all do. But there are sins that turn into struggles that can consume them if they aren’t protected now.

For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her!  –  Proverbs 5:3-8

Sexual immorality is one sin that has plagued our nation. From young to older. Our children are persuaded  that sexual promiscuity is okay.

So what do we do?

Us women who have been forced to take on a role that was originally designed for a man, leaving us to succumb to teaching our boys to step into a biblical role setup for man that was scripted for them.

Can a woman teach a man to be a man?

My boys are 6 and 3. How in the world do I protect them now when they are so young? They won’t understand.

(Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22:6)

He won’t depart from it. That means, that the foundation that I teach them on will not crumble when they walk.

Us single moms do it all. Some because we have to. Some because we chose to through consequence.

But there is help.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. -Hebrews 4:16

The Lord is the one who will shepherd them, lead them guide them, give you discernment to protect them and keep them. There is no one better to entrust our children to. No one better to trust ourselves. We can go to God and ask for help and he will not turn us away.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. – James 1:5

So here’s some practical things to help you out along the way. Things I’ve learned over the time that I’ve been a mommy and things that are spelled out in God’s word.

  1. Let them be boys. Don’t rob them of their innocence. Sometimes,as parents we have expectations for our children that are meant for,adults.
  2. Limit their access.  Guard them from the influences of the world. Put passwords on computers and check their technology daily. Be careful to block inappropriate websites and TV shows. Know that we can’t block them from everything.
  3. So we must pray for them. There is nothing that God doesn’t see and nothing that he doesn’t understand. He created them. He knows how to keep and control them. He will lead them when you aren’t able to.
  4. Listen. Be quick to listen. Pay attention to red flags and help them understand themselves as individuals under Gods authority. Take opportunities to talk with them. Give them a platform to be able to talk freely but with boundaries.
  5. Point them to Jesus. Don’t neglect to incorporate God in daily living. Let him be the center by pointing your boys to Jesus in discipline, correction, praise and teaching. Lead by example. Purposefully direct them by engaging with them. I heard a pastor at my church telling his daughter, ” how good is it that God gave us ice cream!” Be intentional.
  6. Teach them repentance and confession. Take part in showing them repentance and what it means. That May mean sometimes actively repenting
    yourself. If we don’t know that something is wrong or offensive we won’t be convicted. And we will convince ourselves that nothing is wrong.
  7. Pray with them.  Incorporate a family time where they can be creative in getting to know God, ask questions and worship together. As my children get older I’d like to act out different stories in the bible that will engage them and help them understand different motives, expressions and scenario.

There is a wrong way to parent our children.

When we fail to give our children Jesus and they go on living their lives as primary owners and not renters.

Run to the good shepherd. He keeps count of all his sheep. He knows when one goes astray or when one is battling sin. He can foresee a crooked path and make it straight.

Nykiah

How to Train a Super Hero {Beginners Edition}

Since the year 2013 rang in, there have been a number of ways I feel the Lord has tried to get my attention. Over the past few weeks I’ve been going through learning about grace, patience, love and the depth of those two from the cross.

When I look at my boys I immediately notice their differences and the importance of me catering to their very “different” needs. What a year this has thus far been!

In previous posts I’ve explained how different my boys are and it’s not until this week that I’ve truly taken in their “boy.”

So when I think of my blog title I think of the reasons I named it what it is and those reasons didn’t start out with the deep meaningful background that it stands on today. I was going for a supermom theme-cute type name. But never could I have imagined that God would reveal far more greater things to me through blogging.

So what exactly is a super hero?

When we think super hero we automatically recollect on red capes, big ripped overly exaggerated muscles, ridiculous voices, spider webs being shot all over the house  and the sound of “not so fast!” being used as a term of endearment.

Merriam-Webster defines a super hero as: a fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman powers;also : an exceptionally skillful or successful person.

In real life my superhero is not so fictional. Instead he walks with a crown of Glory-one that he got through proving his love to the world. My super hero has suffered the scars of sin and affliction that were not his own. My super hero pushed me out-of-the-way of death when I was entrapped to a life of turmoil and mischief.

This man, this SUPER man sat at the beginning of earth with the Lord being Lord, came down to earth to experience my pain, my grief, my sorrow, my temptation, my sin; hung his head in love and rose to assume the role of Christ once for all to all people. My super hero is Jesus–and he is real.

You see, when I look at my parenting and as I look to rearing my children in the right direction, I can’t help but think “I’m not training them to be robots that adhere to all the standards of society, I’m training them to be like Jesus. My child rearing should be pointing them to JESUS and teaching them a daily lifestyle of confession and repentance. It’s important for them to know where they stand and where God stands so that they understand their roles in life as they grow.

What does that mean? What does life under the SON look like?

Life under the son is developing character and living in full submission to his lordship on a regular basis. It means we understand our lack of perfection and need to be rescued.

For so long I have tried to figure out ways to practically teach my children by sitting them in front me and reading the entire bible to them. But I realized that my children are watching me. They are learning how to love God and how to serve others through me. They are learning accountability and suffering, character and love through me. I can’t come to grips with that enough. That’s so overwhelming!!!

Training up my boys in the fear of the Lord means also that I need to understand them. What are their weaknesses, what are their fears, their strengths, their likes and dislikes. My oldest son very often falls into the line of people pleasing. He’s often too worried about what others think of him. I pray hard daily that the Lord will help him to understand his value as a young boy and the importance of his role as a growing man. My littlest is strong-willed to the point of no return. I pray daily that the Lord will break him down and help him to be humble. I’m still actually learning on that one. LOL

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of mommahood is to never stop praying and giving myself up to the Lord because when I do I miss things that are crucial to serving my children. Also, never to stop praying and giving my arrows up to the Lord. It’s a daily process that makes me grow so weary at times.

I fail. I forget. I yell a few times, I get exhausted, and I ask sometimes why me but that’s mothering. It’s a huge job.

I’m learning how to train a not-so superhero-Jesus’ way.