Motherhood: The Jesus Culture Part 2 (Guest Post from Victorine Hutson)

I must admit I was confused when asked to write a post for the Motherhood Series.  I mean, I have a husband, but no ten little toes scampering around the house reaching to touch glass tables with ten little fingers while looking around with innocent amazement.  A trip to the grocery store is just that, a quick trip without a happy little voice saying “I want that!”   There you have it, I have no children, am 38 years old, recently had precancerous cells removed from my cervix and have fibroids that appear to enjoy making my uterus the size of a woman who is 3 months pregnant.  So I have wondered and questioned if motherhood is going to happen for me?  Will I ever experience the joy and maybe morning sickness of pregnancy?  Well, when I began to question my wonderful husband during one of my woe is me bouts and remind him of the possibilities he told me the following: “I didn’t marry you for children; I married you because you are the woman God placed in my life; I married you because I love you, and if we don’t have children [biologically] we will continue to trust God together.”  How my heart smiles with the thought of that man!  And that’s good, really good, because he is often the one by my side when we encounter the Frequent Flyers!  Who or what are they?  Allow me to explain.

“What are you waiting for?”, “Don’t you want children?”, and “Don’t you wait too long!”  The Frequent Flyers.  The questions people ask when they find out I am 38 and have been married for almost three years and am childless.  I guess my husband and I missed the part in our vows that says there is a timeframe to have children.  Any who, there is also the medical field, a Frequent Flyer by default, because, well, it is the GYN.’s job to ask if I am planning to have children and then remind me rather matter-of-factly “[Your] time is running out; I am documenting we discussed this so if you cannot conceive it is noted I addressed the issue, but since you are ready to try, go home and have fun!”  And of course there is me.  I love Jesus and trust him in all areas of my life, but possibly not sharing the birth of a child with my husband!?  Enter old familiar doubt and plain old fear with front row seats to watch gleefully as I anguished over the thought!  I mean relentless fear, “He is going to leave you!”, “Why would he stay with a woman who cannot have children?” and “You’re not a woman if you cannot have children.”  Oh, Jesus make it stop!!  So He gently reminded of this:

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.  II Timothy 1: 7-8  Amplified Bible (AMP)

When I read this scripture or recite it, I am reminded that God did not create me to fear!  It is because of Jesus I have power over the silly thoughts that try to inundate every vacant and not so vacant place in my mind.  It is because of Jesus I remain calm and have self control when the Frequent Flyers and their partners head my way!  Much appreciated!

It is because of the reminders God gives me in his Word that I also sleep very well at night; no tossing and turning worrying when will we prepare our nursery or wondering if he or she will have Mommy’s or Daddy’s eyes.

You have put more joy and rejoicing in my heart than [they know] when their wheat and new wine have yielded abundantly. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust. Psalm 4:7-8 (AMP)

Trust. That’s it; I Trust God. And While I am waiting for motherhood to begin, I am enjoying the journey and learning and relearning awesome things about myself and my relationship with Christ and my family! Here are a few of the things in no particular order: 1- Fear does not have a place in my journey. 2- God loves me and cares about me and spending time with him is the single best way to start my day. 3- My nieces and nephews really enjoy spending time with me (I use the great amount of laughter and smiles as a gauge, but they also tell me). 4- My husband is my best friend and our marriage consists of three people: God, him, and me (order specified).

I may not be able to stop the Frequent Flyers, but with God I can face them with no shame.  Whatever the outcome may be, birthing a child, adopting a child, or  simply remaining as I am, the best Auntie and Godmother I can be, I am content and happier than people know (See Philippians 4:12-13).  So as my husband and I continue to trust God and enjoy our journey, know that we are smiling and embracing each day we are blessed with as a new opportunity to allow our joy and the reason for it to be contagious to others.

  About the Author: Victorine Hutson

howtotrainasuperheroMy name is Victorine and I am lovingly called Vickey by family and friends. I am 38, married almost three years, and reside in Middletown, DE.  I enjoy learning about God, spending time with my husband, playing and spending time with my nieces and nephews, laughing and cooking. My husband and I fellowship at Ezekiel Baptist Church located in Philadelphia, PA.

I Don’t Like The Taste of Salt

This morning was not like any other. It was a morning I spent mourning a terrible action on which I displayed.

I’ve struggled with this my whole life. Like a thorn given to remind me of my imperfection. I’ve despised this nasty trait of mine. I’ve battled toe to toe with tears and prayer. But sometimes it gets the best of me. Not that it has a mind of It’s own or anything. I can control it if I want to.

But sometimes my need to rationalize things out loud gives room for this nasty characteristic to have the stage. And I choose to let it rip through family life and my life-like a heaping tornado.

Controlling my tongue.

My mouth will get me in trouble. I used to hate hearing that as a kid. But my mother wasn’t lying. Now I struggle with my words and sometimes the anger from my words more than I did when I was younger. It’s an ongoing issue that I’ve yet to defeat.

Dear brothers and sisters,not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.  And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.

 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace-loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.  And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.  -James 3

I yell things, I combat with hurtful words sometimes, I get all indignant and make others bow down to worship my needs and desire.

I am even unrepentant sometimes.

Thankfully the Lord knows how to break my hard shell. For he is my shepherd and I am his sheep. He knows me better than anyone else. And knows my heart.

To be honest sometimes this issue is a result of my inconsistency. The fact that I haven’t allowed the Lord to drive my life but that I’ve taken the wheel and have steered in the wrong direction. When pride enters my heart, sin drips from my lips and I end up losing sight of my goal- heaven.

But a few things that help on this is to combat some of the lies that I’ve started to believe like I can say what I want whenever, and that I don’t have to watch my words or speech because I’m grown.

Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.   -James 3:11-12

That the Lord is allowing me to be hurt and I have to defend myself. That I can fix it, them.

Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me. The Lord will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.  -Psalm 138: 7-8

I’m thankful that the Lord God loves me so much to convict me. I realize that this is a result of his love. His conviction provides a remedy for my wounds , the wounds of the ones I’ve hurt along the way and healing for my bones.

It’s so easy to forget that there is an enemy out seeking to desire our hearts and control our minds. But we must not forget that there is also a saviour who defeated him already. so losing is our choice.  As mothers, sisters, daughters, friends and wives we must not lose sight of relying and depending on our faithful saviour.

That means be diligent in seeking and serving him. Submitting to his will and the work that he has called us to.

There we find what we need and the power to turn away from sin and walk toward his son.

But know that God knows we aren’t perfect so if we mess up along the way, we can rest in the fact that there is nothing that will separate us from his love and faithfulness and that we can get up and keep walking.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.  -Romans 8:38-39

signature2

 

Linking up with: Wedded Wednesday

Motherhood: The Jesus Culture (Guest Post from Jenn Fennell on Motherhood-From a New Mommy.)

My life has changed…drastically! These drastic, yet joyful none the less changes took place on February 14, 2013 at 9:59am as this is when I became a

mother to a precious little girl that I call my Little Ezri. Now granted, I had no intentions of the changes being so large, so serious, yet they are. I have

been taken by surprise with just how serious this business of “parenthood” really is. I’ve only been at it for four months now, and I feel that sometimes I am

way over my head. My mind reverts to the story of the Duggards, where the woman has nineteen children…and counting, and seems to have it all

together. Or, Kate, from the “John and Kate Plus Eight” show, however Kate is a single mom now. How in the world do these women do this?

How do they keep up with their kids and keep their sanity? How?

In this writing, I have no intentions on offering any final answer to this question. I guarantee one can search the whole world around, and back again, and there is no perfect answer as to how to hold it all together, because some days are fine…and other days are just rough. I’m new at this, and that is one thing I know for sure. No one has it all together! The changes are constant, and learning never ends!

With the challenges of being a new mom, I have many friends, family and complete strangers that ask me “So how is life as a new mother?” My response has been very plain. I simply reply “It’s wonderful – I’m learning how to be more like my child.” Imagine the weird faces I get when I say that while standing in line at the super market!

I am a christian mother, and I aim to live a life that aligns with my savior’s words. His word has been of great inspiration to me during times where I am not feeling that I have it all together in this new gig of being a mother. Let’s take a look at Matthew 18, verses 3-4. It says the following;

“I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get in to the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Now, what I have gathered from this scripture, is something I grasp onto everyday, for sanity and for dear life. It is this, in this life, I must become more like my child, in how I approach God, in how I respond to God, in how I live, in how I breath, eat, move…think. Everything! I must become like my little Ezri. There are many things I have yet to learn from her.

Jesus, in this passage, is speaking to a group of followers and states that the characteristics of a child, are to be admired; as these are the characteristics that one can enter, experience, touch…the kingdom of heaven. Jesus sees the character traits of a child, untarnished by the world, and he says that these traits are honorable, as opposed to being despised. Now how crazy and counter-cultural is that?
My little has complete dependence on me. She delights me in. She listens for me and looks for me when she is discouraged. She imitates me, and she trust me. These are things that I should be doing as an adult when it comes to my Savior. It has been crazy being a new mom and having a whole new view on this passage!

Yes, being a new mom is challenging. As with any transition in life, there are ups and downs. However, I am learning that while Ezri is busy trying to learn how to be like her mother, here I am striving to become more like her…when it comes to my savior.

          About the Author: Jenn Fennell

970914_859551370427_1850494884_n-e1373421886757.jpgMy name is Jenn. I am 27 years old, a new mother and have been married for almost 2 years. I currently live in  Philadelphia but grew up as a military brat so I have lived in various places. I love God, people, ministry, arts and crafts, and my friends and family.

Sticking to my guns..When Discipline is Hard to See Through

howtotrainasuperhero

I regret to inform you that I am no longer a wuss. That’s right I conquered fear of my children.

Fear you say?

Not a bully kind of fear but fear of their response kind of fear.

Some of you may say, “they’re children.”

Hear me out.

So kid hero lost a tooth two weeks ago. It just so happened that he actually pulled it out so that he could reap the reward of the Tooth Angel a little faster. Smart kid right?

Well I usually buy little toys and books just for happenings like these but it turns out this time I had nothing.

Remember when you got one dollar under our pillows and called it day. (For my more seasoned mama’s-a nickel)

It could have been just that simple but we have a tradition that we started and It’s ours. So we do it.

When a child loses their first tooth in our house they get a certificate shaped like a tooth, a cool new toothbrush, and a dollar or two. But the best part is where we make a special bag for that tooth. We decorate it with all the boy goodness and we thank God for the tooth that we lost and the one we will gain.

As the next few teeth ooze out, we stick to just making a bag and the boys get a little gift for their hard work of brushing and taking care of that tooth. They also get one dollar in which they can choose to spend, save or give. This time our agenda gave me the perfect opportunity to pick something up real quick but the fact that Kid Hero was hopefully waiting for the toy that he wanted gave way to a new kind of surprise from the tooth angel.

So we waited til last week to decorate our bag and slip it under his pillow. Now I stalled a bit on the bag so that I’d have a chance to grab one of his favorite beys. However, it just so happened that this particular week our house hold was struggling to submit to the Lords commandment of submitting to the parents and being a good neighbor.

So as I walked my happy tail out of work and across the highway to the toy store, I thought, ” Lord show me a way to give them Jesus with the tooth angel.” Let’s face it, everything we do in our house involves Jesus and he’s the primary reason we  developed the tooth angel instead of the tooth fairy. So that I may have another opportunity to give them better moments of wanting and serving the Lord.

And as I walked I thought, no way I’m going home. And the tooth angel will bring to our home a lesson of character building.

So I went home and we put the tooth bag together and under Kid Hero’s pillow and you know what I did? I fell asleep and woke up to an excited six year old eager to see the toy he knew would be placed under his pillow.

Whomp. Whomp.

What did I do?

No worries I had a plan. While my boys were eating breakfast. I snuck down to the kitchen and wrote a letter from the tooth angel. She urged KH to heed the instruction of his parents and follow the Lord’s way. She talked about preferring others over himself. She went over the benefits of a wise child who brings honor to their parents and the destruction of a foolish child who abandons his father words.

I also slipped a ten-dollar bill in the bag along with the tooth.

Yup He didn’t want to hear this. He immediately started to freak out and cry. He wanted a toy instead. He was not happy. I was so disappointed in his selfishness at that point that I begged the Lord to have mercy on him. LOL

I sat down and began to talk with him about the Good Samaritan in Luke 10. He freaked out more.

You know? Everything in me wanted to say, ” Ok we’ll get a toy when we go out to the store.” But I thought, If I remedy this kind of behavior with a reward so that at the present time he may obey, what gain is there? What is initially happening to his soul?

As a parent I am called by God to protect my children from death-hell. I am to raise them with God’s provision. Their human nature is against God and all he wants. Their hearts are deceitful and wicked, selfish and vain(Jeremiah 17:9). It is in moments much like this one that I must stop, recognize and rescue.

Stop and think what is really going on. What the heart is saying. I must be good at recognizing my children’s needs-spiritually. In this case KH was being very selfish. What the tooth angel gave wasn’t good enough for him and he was going to cry, yell and stomp until he got what he wanted. (dis-contentment, prideful, ungrateful)

Recognize the way that I need to respond. Not by yelling and sending him away, unbridled anger or relieving him by rewarding him but finding the best way to reprove him whether it be correction, instruction, rebuke, entreaty, teaching, encouragement or a warning from the Lord.

Rescue him by giving him Jesus. The bible says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. God says that he will give us the things we desire if we seek him with our whole hearts. My boy has got to understand that it’s not about him.

I’m certainly on a mission. That is to help my boys understand themselves in light of the Lord.

After reading the passage about the Good Samaritan KH quickly started to crumble and cry. He repented

At the end there was a charge.

The tooth angel charged Kid Hero to figure out how he can be a blessing with his money, whether it be to the church, the community, his family or complete strangers. He was charged to give some, save some and then spend some of his money.

Oh was it hard. He acted like a complete fool with his tantrum and it pained me to discipline him but no discipline seems pleasant at the moment but painful. I think that’s true for me and him. But it is important that I make an appeal to his conscience and address his heart.

So of course my boy understood it at the moment and failed a few times along the past few weeks. But my biggest accomplishment in my son’s life is that he can recognize when he is wrong and he is capable and active in repenting and seeking to do better.

Always makes me smile to see him sitting talking to God about what’s on his heart.

So the next occasion I need to pull out my guns, I’m sticking to them.

signature2

HOPE FOR THE WORKING MOM

howtotrainasuperhero

We work like a dog all day. We come home without chance to unravel what our mind has been trying to comprehend since early morning.. to bright faces with missing teeth asking and begging for our attention. So we put our bags down and scoop up a handful of motherly love and our night shift begins.

I know how you feel….To not have enough time to spend with your children because most of your night involved your commute home.

And I know it gets worst.

You feel overwhelmed and under heard. Your mind is set to accomplish your many tasks of the day and before you know it your precious baby ended up watching T.V all day….but you got all your work done. You’ll do better tomorrow. But tomorrows to-do list looks just like today’s.

Motherhood. It has me down in the dumps. Too many times I’ve yelled for them to stop yelling at each other. I’ve sat them down to stare one another eye ball to eyeball. I’ve enforced punishments that exited their favorite’s. I’ve tripped over the last toy I can take and I don’t really feel like cooking. I’ve been doing laundry for the last three weeks and there are too many deadlines to meet. I’m tired and cranky and fighting for grace.

Motherhood.

Who called me to this?

God did. From the beginning of time he commands me to raise my children and nurture and care for them. He commands me to be their mother. (Genesis 1:28)

Times get tough. I lose a few marbles or some of them get loose. I lose sight of the benefit of serving and caring for my family.

2 Corinthians 4:1-18

Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up. We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this.

If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.
You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.
But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus,will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you.  All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
This passage is titled Treasures in Jars of Clay.
What does that mean?
Possibly that somewhere underneath all the lack of sleep and to-do lists, God is molding and shaping us for our benefit…for his.
Perhaps that our families are being likened to his glory. So just think of it like this. Through all the rubble is a treasure to be held. One that marks eternity as it’s destination. So while you’re going crazy half the time. God is working. perfecting you, them. He holds the clay and kneads it well…And in the end it turns out to be just like he imagined.
So don’t be weary in your well-doing. Let patience have its perfect work. God’s gift and call can never be withdrawn. (Rom 11:29) He made us for this.
So there’s hope for us. Us working moms.

Lessons from a Dreamlite

And so it began. The lights went out and I heard no noise. Only the sound of two giddy little boys watching their dream lite. For some reason the way it lit up the Nightly overhead really calmed them and made them feel comforted. It  mimicked the beauty of Gods natural creation and there was peace in that for them. Fast asleep they went and I never heard another peep.

Dream lites? Huh. Who would have thought? I pondered the note I’d typed and plastered on their bare paneled wall.

(Listen thing that’s scaring me! Go away when I count to three! One..Two..Three!!  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind -2 Timothy 1:7) God is BIGGER than the boogie man.

God is bigger than the boogie man. Gee wiz.

That means he’s bigger than the worries that I have. Or he’s bigger than the goals that I set.

But tell me something. If God is so big why can’t I trust him?

Well yes I trust him. But not with everything. You see, I forget that it’s not my world. I forget that I don’t call the shots and I end up calling them. I pick my job.  I pick my car. I pick the street that I will walk down. I pick the future I want my children to hold.

In perspective, how would you feel if something that you created to do a certain thing…did the opposite?

How would I feel if the thing that I created needed  troubleshooting and it wasn’t returned for repair?

The dream lite, it was created to mimic beauty. It was created to fulfill the feeling of being surrounded by the night sky filled with twinkling stars-the bright moon. It was in essence created to mimic creation and God’s view of it.

In the same way I was created to mimic the work of my creator. I was created with his interest, his attributes and his style. I was created to represent his unique outlook. I was created to mimic my king.

But sometimes, I look like me. I look like my image and that looks blurry.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I’m broken and I need repair, I’m exhausted and I need relief….but I don’t take my issues or my jacked up heart wrapped in pride and selfishness, soaked in self-righteousness and self gain, back to the manufacturer. Nope I try to fix it myself. I try to sticky gloop all of my issues. I stick them in the microwave and apply too blessed to be stressed! I give my heart away to the world and all its pleasures.

But the funny thing is,I never void the warranty. So even after all the junk I do. All the corners I cut, I can take my broken heart, my wretched soul back to the creator.

He will take the bandages off and expose my heart in its natural sinful state and he might frown at the dint’s and bruises that I got from being mishandled but he will remember what I’m supposed to look like and go to work like a potter shaping clay, and mold me into what he envisioned for me to be.

So why don’t I trust him?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

That dream lite will never look the same to me. It will remind me of how God put the stars in the sky and how he knows each of them by name. It will remind me that he created me just as beautiful and that he designed every nook and cranny to reflect him.  It will remind me where my contentment lay and those giddy little boys were made to be loved and from that I’ll give everything I have to say Thank you.

-Choose Love

Protecting the purity: How to shepherd your children

I think I’ve stressed about the importance of this issue enough over the pass few years. Enough to go crazy.

I’m a single mom with broken influence in my home. My boys don’t have a model at home to see. There is no father at home influencing them, who is active and able to discern through situations and step up.

I’m grateful for the men that my boys have in their lives, besides their fathers, who influence them biblically and walk with them. But when they go home, it’s just me and my babies.

My babies.

One day they will be men who acquire wives, and children and a life of their own. One day they will be accountable for what I’ve taught them about God. We are just practicing right now for the big test against the world.

The test that may take them by the foot and drag them through circumstance and tribulation.

Will they be able to stand? Will they know that there is a God who understands them? Will they run to him for safety? Will they know how to treat a woman? That It’s not okay to uncover her purity? Will they be leaders that shepherd well? Will they be respectable, hardworking and wise?

These are the things that I want for them. I’m certain that God agrees though the journey to become those men of integrity I am not sure.

Boys struggle. We all do. But there are sins that turn into struggles that can consume them if they aren’t protected now.

For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her!  –  Proverbs 5:3-8

Sexual immorality is one sin that has plagued our nation. From young to older. Our children are persuaded  that sexual promiscuity is okay.

So what do we do?

Us women who have been forced to take on a role that was originally designed for a man, leaving us to succumb to teaching our boys to step into a biblical role setup for man that was scripted for them.

Can a woman teach a man to be a man?

My boys are 6 and 3. How in the world do I protect them now when they are so young? They won’t understand.

(Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22:6)

He won’t depart from it. That means, that the foundation that I teach them on will not crumble when they walk.

Us single moms do it all. Some because we have to. Some because we chose to through consequence.

But there is help.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. -Hebrews 4:16

The Lord is the one who will shepherd them, lead them guide them, give you discernment to protect them and keep them. There is no one better to entrust our children to. No one better to trust ourselves. We can go to God and ask for help and he will not turn us away.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. – James 1:5

So here’s some practical things to help you out along the way. Things I’ve learned over the time that I’ve been a mommy and things that are spelled out in God’s word.

  1. Let them be boys. Don’t rob them of their innocence. Sometimes,as parents we have expectations for our children that are meant for,adults.
  2. Limit their access.  Guard them from the influences of the world. Put passwords on computers and check their technology daily. Be careful to block inappropriate websites and TV shows. Know that we can’t block them from everything.
  3. So we must pray for them. There is nothing that God doesn’t see and nothing that he doesn’t understand. He created them. He knows how to keep and control them. He will lead them when you aren’t able to.
  4. Listen. Be quick to listen. Pay attention to red flags and help them understand themselves as individuals under Gods authority. Take opportunities to talk with them. Give them a platform to be able to talk freely but with boundaries.
  5. Point them to Jesus. Don’t neglect to incorporate God in daily living. Let him be the center by pointing your boys to Jesus in discipline, correction, praise and teaching. Lead by example. Purposefully direct them by engaging with them. I heard a pastor at my church telling his daughter, ” how good is it that God gave us ice cream!” Be intentional.
  6. Teach them repentance and confession. Take part in showing them repentance and what it means. That May mean sometimes actively repenting
    yourself. If we don’t know that something is wrong or offensive we won’t be convicted. And we will convince ourselves that nothing is wrong.
  7. Pray with them.  Incorporate a family time where they can be creative in getting to know God, ask questions and worship together. As my children get older I’d like to act out different stories in the bible that will engage them and help them understand different motives, expressions and scenario.

There is a wrong way to parent our children.

When we fail to give our children Jesus and they go on living their lives as primary owners and not renters.

Run to the good shepherd. He keeps count of all his sheep. He knows when one goes astray or when one is battling sin. He can foresee a crooked path and make it straight.

Nykiah