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I write about being a mom here with the intentions of a fellow or expecting mother gaining from it.

I struggle with the in and outs of motherhood though. The need for my progress to be compared to the next and my lack thereof.

Motherhood is a redeeming road.

One that shows grace to us before we ever ask….through eyes that trust us no matter how many times we’ve lost it.

There is something amazing about those stubb little toes and flimsy ponytails creeping down to the basement door because the bad guys are lurking and they’ve named themselves ninja’s. Yet I can’t deny that there are bad days and down days that sometimes drain the life and emotion from me.

The one’s where depression sinks in because the duties kill the Joy. Constantly picking up after my children, telling them to be responsible, quoting family rules and the importance of togetherness. Dealing with strong wills day in and day out…it all becomes blurry and then I miss the beauty in my life.

This beauty…..

That the cross changes how I live my life everyday. And is ever sustaining and freeing me from the too high bar that I set for myself. And then God challenges me to see the brush that he’s painting with. The art in the life of this journey.

How do I serve well without letting the stresses of mother hood bring me down? How do I pull myself from that bottomless pit of mom blues and see this art-the cross and its ever-changing me power-to see the picture of-grace laced parenting.

The great part of this is that we have so many components to look at when we think of what Jesus dying on the cross symbolizes. It is not just a safety net to catch us when we fail but allows us freedom to embrace our weakness and Christ’s love for us and our children. To see through eyes of unfailing love and redemption. We can leave our failures and our hang ups at the cross and walk in the truth of it. That we are not perfect but Jesus is and is continuing his work in us so long as we allow him to. He gave us strength to combat the voices in our heads that say we are failures and our children are a burden. Strength to endure through the long hours and 24hrs on call. Joy to serve well. The cross brings us no condemnation and encourages us to forgive ourselves and stop comparing ourselves. Jesus and his cross brings us a new meaning to “waking up this morning”. He called us each to our own journey. No two look the same though similar. Our walks are all unique in his eyes for his glory.

Motherhood can quickly look like imprisonment if we don’t seek out the truth of it.

We must be committed to God and his word, repenting and reapplying daily. So that the cross-that Jesus carried and died on-symbolizes our newness and glorifying him purpose. Jesus foresaw our purpose that day-that we are not perfect for roles that he called us to and weak in them but because he is strong we can be too and choose persevere through the tough days with gladness. The cross foresaw that we are fearfully and wonderfully made to reflect Christ’s love for the church through our mothering and most importantly sinners in need of a saving Savior.

My husband heard something profound recently “that we have the same holy spirit that Jesus and Paul had….He has experience! He knows what he is doing!”

And we need to trust that. That God created the process and will has given us help to press through it. We are not alone. We have a helper.

But the helper, the holy spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.

John 14:26 (nasb)

Jesus gave us purpose by modeling a perfect life on earth and perfect love on the cross. Through his death he gave hope that we can model that same love and life to our families. No matter how many times we mess up. We are raised to life in him.

He gave us freedom check and balance our lives by his word.

Your righteousness is and your law is true.

Psalm 119:142

Jesus gave us accountability through his death. The word of God, which he fulfilled that day, exposes our hearts in love and provides direction.

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Hebrews 4:12

The cross gives hope- that Christ is perfecting us through this journey. That he is fulfilling his purpose and love through us and to us by making us holy- sanctifying our souls through the messes of daily life.

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:1-5

The cross gives us joy in the fact that God is not finished with us yet. It is a reminder of the grand scheme of things.

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.              2 Cor 4:7-10

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.             2 Cor 4:16-18

As mother’s we need to make a daily decision to allow the cross to impact us deeply. In essence the cross should influence how we think and act everyday because our lives were ransomed for purpose and change. We need to practice and pursue, repent and live again and let the Lord guide our lives through his word.

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Psalm 119: 105

In truth the cross changed us by washing us clean and giving us grace to try again.

How will you choose to let the cross change you?