Here I was, a young mother at the age of sixteen staring a new-born baby boy in the face and not knowing what was to come. Not understanding the Lord’s grace in my life nor my role to intentionally convey that to my child. I was a baby myself but I made a mature decision to carry out my pregnancy and “grow up.”
I made the necessary plans, secured a job and set my focus to be a mother instead of a child, and I thought my plans were all worked out. I carefully played along in life acting confident in who I was but in doubt not really having a clue. I worked, went home and tended to my baby boy, being present but unavailable.
Nobody counseled me on the hard times, sleepless nights and stress of being a single mother or a mother period. Nor the anger that came from regretting my past mistakes, the insanity I would sometimes face and the constant search of selecting the next man of my life. I ran to people and I let them tell me what the future held for me and the decisions I should make and soon those very same people I learned were the one’s laughing in my face behind my back. I married so that I wouldn’t be alone and hoped that those pieces I thought were missing would be put together again.
Well, growing up I learned that looking for love in the wrong place will leave you in a dark, lonely, and frustrated place. I grew further and further away from God and began to get angry at him. Now how does that sound? Me being angry at God for the choices I made and wanting him to make them disappear without reaping the consequences. I wanted a microwave faith. One that worked when I wanted it to.
But somewhere in my early twenties through divorce and other things I found myself on my knees begging God to meet me where I was. But he didn’t need to. Why? because he never left, I just pushed him away. Once I realized this truth it opened the door to other things. Things that I convinced myself of weren’t making any sense and God’s truth did. So I decided right there that I would put my faith in Jesus and let him take the woman I saw in the mirror everyday and clean her up. And in exchange he helped me to understand that the battle’s I was trying so hard to fight were overcome in his name.
I can’t really say that things got better over night because they didn’t, but me knowing that because I put my faith in trusting in the blood that was shed for me on the cross by Jesus, I was walking in a new way. Not one where I started naming and claiming my future and blaming everything on the devil but a way where I understood the fact that I am a sinner and I will do it everyday. However, in Jesus I have the freedom to go to God, repent and start over again. And guess what? I had the freedom to forgive my self and know that all of my mistakes were nailed to the cross in Jesus’ name.
So I know this sounds like what an older person would say but trust me I look back and wish I would have listened to some of those things.
Young mother… you need to know your worth and what you were made for. You were born in the image of a king so great in his majesty that a single look will knock you out. How great is that? Even those ugliest things that you find about yourself are amazing. You were created to worship that king in everything that you do. Being diligent on your job or at school is worship, stepping up as a mother is worship, showing those little eye’s how you depend on God in your singleness or married-ness is worship.
Worship God with your life by doing the very best you can do and holding on to God when you have fallen.
Wait on God, you are not dented or bruised. You are not trash or reused. You are made whole by the Gospel of Jesus and it’s truth.
Your mission is now your child and getting that child to understand who he is and why he was created and for whom he was created. You were created to worship God. Focus on bringing up your baby or babies not having a man or things.
Be an example of what a godly woman should look like. And choose to receive the joy of the Lord everyday.
When you have accepted Jesus’ lordship in your life (allowing Jesus to wash you and restore you) you will be able to live redeemed. Knowing that nothing can separate you from the love of God and that he has a plan in the midst of your sorrow, happiness,pain, anger, fatigue and frustration..and that is for you to grow.
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. -James 1:3
The Gospel makes people whole…that means it is for you.
Live life on purpose, with purpose, for purpose,
You might also like: Motherhood: The Jesus Culture (Guest Post by Jenn), Motherhood: The Jesus Culture (Guest Post By Victorine), I Don’t Like The Taste of Salt