I think I’ve stressed about the importance of this issue enough over the pass few years. Enough to go crazy.
I’m a single mom with broken influence in my home. My boys don’t have a model at home to see. There is no father at home influencing them, who is active and able to discern through situations and step up.
I’m grateful for the men that my boys have in their lives, besides their fathers, who influence them biblically and walk with them. But when they go home, it’s just me and my babies.
One day they will be men who acquire wives, and children and a life of their own. One day they will be accountable for what I’ve taught them about God. We are just practicing right now for the big test against the world.
The test that may take them by the foot and drag them through circumstance and tribulation.
Will they be able to stand? Will they know that there is a God who understands them? Will they run to him for safety? Will they know how to treat a woman? That It’s not okay to uncover her purity? Will they be leaders that shepherd well? Will they be respectable, hardworking and wise?
These are the things that I want for them. I’m certain that God agrees though the journey to become those men of integrity I am not sure.
Boys struggle. We all do. But there are sins that turn into struggles that can consume them if they aren’t protected now.
For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it. So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: Stay away from her! – Proverbs 5:3-8
Sexual immorality is one sin that has plagued our nation. From young to older. Our children are persuaded that sexual promiscuity is okay.
So what do we do?
Us women who have been forced to take on a role that was originally designed for a man, leaving us to succumb to teaching our boys to step into a biblical role setup for man that was scripted for them.
Can a woman teach a man to be a man?
My boys are 6 and 3. How in the world do I protect them now when they are so young? They won’t understand.
(Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it – Proverbs 22:6)
He won’t depart from it. That means, that the foundation that I teach them on will not crumble when they walk.
Us single moms do it all. Some because we have to. Some because we chose to through consequence.
But there is help.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. -Hebrews 4:16
The Lord is the one who will shepherd them, lead them guide them, give you discernment to protect them and keep them. There is no one better to entrust our children to. No one better to trust ourselves. We can go to God and ask for help and he will not turn us away.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. – James 1:5
So here’s some practical things to help you out along the way. Things I’ve learned over the time that I’ve been a mommy and things that are spelled out in God’s word.
- Let them be boys. Don’t rob them of their innocence. Sometimes,as parents we have expectations for our children that are meant for,adults.
- Limit their access. Guard them from the influences of the world. Put passwords on computers and check their technology daily. Be careful to block inappropriate websites and TV shows. Know that we can’t block them from everything.
- So we must pray for them. There is nothing that God doesn’t see and nothing that he doesn’t understand. He created them. He knows how to keep and control them. He will lead them when you aren’t able to.
- Listen. Be quick to listen. Pay attention to red flags and help them understand themselves as individuals under Gods authority. Take opportunities to talk with them. Give them a platform to be able to talk freely but with boundaries.
- Point them to Jesus. Don’t neglect to incorporate God in daily living. Let him be the center by pointing your boys to Jesus in discipline, correction, praise and teaching. Lead by example. Purposefully direct them by engaging with them. I heard a pastor at my church telling his daughter, ” how good is it that God gave us ice cream!” Be intentional.
- Teach them repentance and confession. Take part in showing them repentance and what it means. That May mean sometimes actively repenting
yourself. If we don’t know that something is wrong or offensive we won’t be convicted. And we will convince ourselves that nothing is wrong.
- Pray with them. Incorporate a family time where they can be creative in getting to know God, ask questions and worship together. As my children get older I’d like to act out different stories in the bible that will engage them and help them understand different motives, expressions and scenario.
There is a wrong way to parent our children.
When we fail to give our children Jesus and they go on living their lives as primary owners and not renters.
Run to the good shepherd. He keeps count of all his sheep. He knows when one goes astray or when one is battling sin. He can foresee a crooked path and make it straight.