Nobody ever told me that being a mother of boys was a daunting task that takes courage to approach. I didn’t ask for boys, I even got upset when I had my ultrasound. I didn’t understand why I didn’t get girls, I knew I would be perfect at raising and understanding my own kind but I took the assignment of being a boy mom. I thought I had it planned out. I would give a command, they would do it. I would wipe their faces after they finish wrestling in the grass with their dad and tuck them in for bed. I wasn’t prepared for the seizures, the asthma, the temper tantrums that lasted for hours, the stares, the comments, the frustration, the struggle, the lost for patience. When I applied to be a mom I didn’t expect my requirements to say:

• Must be willing to work weekends, nights, and holidays.
• Must be able to draw weird stick figures
• serious amounts of patience required.
• Medical experience a plus.
• Must be experienced in applying bandages and neosporin.
• Tough cookie a plus.
• Must be willing to work weekends, nights, and holidays.
• Medical experience a plus.
• Basic knowledge of boy-nomics
• Must be practiced in the art of boo-boo kissing.
• Must have at least a base knowledge in video game lingo.
• Moderate to advanced Super Hero understanding recommended.
• Aversion to blood not ideal.  This job can involve trauma situations.
• Must be willing to deal with mass quantities of feces removal.
• Must be able to leap tall building blocks in a single bound.
•  Stain removal expertise helpful.
• Sense of humor imperative.
• Minor degree in zoology a plus, prerequisites in animal handling even better.
• Referee experience beneficial.
• Tolerance to the smell of urine necessary.
• Perseverance in toilet scrubbing required.
• Sword fighting experience a plus.
• Must not hold too dearly to breakable items.
• An intricate knowledge of Lego handling useful.
• Rough-housing will be sometimes required of applicant. (Some bullets taken from this post on mobsociety.com)

Many nights I’d pray that the Lord would just take away the “tribulation” that we had faced but it never hit me that maybe the Lord chose me, or us for this. Raising boys is a task that only the strongest women can complete. It’s like running through a training maze, every little course prepares you for the next course ahead. I don’t think I’d ever be able to keep going without the grace of Jesus. I mess up repeatedly, I get lazy from time to time and often I lack the mental capacity to just deal. Anyone ever felt like this? My boys have been an intricate part of the work that God is doing in my life. After each hurdle I jump, I earn more wisdom, grow more patient and understand myself in light of Jesus. In some ways I feel that parenting is God’s funny way of saying, “take a walk in my shoes!” I couldn’t imagine having to parent billions of children with different personalities. Even more, the one’s who I provide for, protect and nurture and they deny me as their parent. How hurtful is that?

In my journey as a parent I’m learning to leave fantasy at the door and budget with my reality. No one has perfect children but we do. We have children who God matched us with to complete HIS glory. In my perfect world my children  wouldn’t bother me when I am busy, or scream when I say no to the cookies in target; they wouldn’t ask a million questions in a minute time frame, cry loudly because it’s too early for them to get up for school, write on my light wood table with permanent black marker, tell me no, do leaps in a single bound into the tv, unravel a whole roll of toilet paper and stop up the toilet with it,  poop in their underwear and hide under the table for twenty minutes until I smelled it, or eat up all my food. LOL! I can see some looking at this saying, “yea that’s the perfect world”. Most times I would complain that it’s them and not me but I’ve learned over time that parenting another child takes unselfishness and the willingness to serve and that’s something I am not by human default. I read a post on this blog and was immediately inspired and convicted by Kris’ willingness to serve her family better and lead them in motherly fashion in the presence of the Lord. As I read I see her growing more and more unselfishly and I’m so glad she decides to share.

It’s hard as a single mom to show my boys what it is to be a woman and not get them confused with what it is to be a man because I’m doing a consolidated job. It’s important for them to see what I go through though so that they know what a biblical man and woman are not. Not saying that you aren’t walking in your biblical roles as men and women if you are a single parent. I’m just saying, biblically a man is to provide, protect and lead his family in a servant capacity. I want my boys to know what a Godly woman looks like; a woman who is feminine biblically, who submits to the Lord first and protects the purity of her relationship with the Lord and knows her role as a woman so that when her husband comes along, she isn’t the wife who is controlling, loud in her ways, disrespectful and contentious. Of course there is so much more to being a biblical woman. I also want my boys to know how to be brothers in the Lord and to guard themselves and others against sin in their different relationships but because they don’t see godly men assuming their roles as men too often, it’s cloudy with a chance of wrong direction. Kris’ blog helps me a lot to understand my role as a woman, even more a single woman with children and that it’s okay to be a single mom and show my boys that without compromising my role. I love her post about loving, serving and leading.

Even with my boys not being the perfect children I’ve learned to cater to their strengths and weaknesses. I have one child who is fairly independent and one who is not. One child who is outspoken about everything he does and one who asks a lot of questions. I’ve learned to serve them in their journey as little super-kids training to be godly grown men and to identify different areas of their lives where god has chosen to pay special attention. Their need for love is at an all time high at this stage of their lives but I know that God chose me for this role to bring me a lot closer to HIM and to stay close to him and vice versa. What is your story or confession? What do you feel God is or has taught you through your children? I’d love to hear!