Walking down the street hand in hand with my twenty muppet toes. The biggest little muppet rubbing chapstick all over his face and the littlest muppet yelling to the top of his lungs “get off of me mommy!” Pulling and tugging and my patience growing dim I begin to speak quietly to God, just as if the time had frozen. Looking forward I thought, “God, how do I do this!? Will I one day see gentlemen that honor their women? Men who will stand up and do as you have called them to? Men of God who love you whole heartedly…Men? How do I accomplish this task with such light input? A few days ago I was listening to a podcast about unredeemed fears. The minister stated that fear was the act of living life as God is not the ultimate authority to whom all must give an account and also believing that he won’t provide out of the abundance of HIS character. I heard God say, “I will raise my children, I will provide, they are mine.” My biggest fear has always been failing, at anything, and because of that I hyperventilate everything in my life. I intubate my dreams and goals and distract myself from doing anything that the Lord ask me to do. In other words I detest the thought of God being so mighty and so powerful, so all-knowing and eternal that I revoke the chance of him even being the Lord of Lords or Adonai. When the people of Israel were in the wilderness they focused on the massivity and eternality of God, they focused on the fact that God, in the midst of all they have done, all of their sin, was bigger than their present state, their sinful hearts and even their sacrifices. So with this thought I decided to take my focus off of my own strengths and weaknesses and began to see God in his entirety and to search his character so that I may know how to raise my boys. God is faithful to remain and he never ever changes. It’s the fact that we change and we worry by default over things we cannot control and did not create that helps us believe that God will not provide for us and being in God’s will and walking upright doesn’t mean that we always have to have our act together. It means we live our lives in accordance with God’s grace. When we are in God’s will and walking upright there is especially nothing that the Lord will not do that is good for our life. We may ask for a job with benefits and vacation time but he might provide a job that supplies what is needed and takes care of what is needed. We may ask for a yacht and he may provide a motor boat. Be faithful over little and in return God will trust and provide you with more to be trusted with whether spiritual, physical or material. He wants to know that whatever he gives to you, that he can trust you with the glory that he will bring through it. EVERYTHING is about God, it’s never about us but it’s always about his glory. I’m learning that in my every day struggles. I’m learning to thank God for answering my prayers and to acknowledge him for answering them the way he thought they should be. My boys are healthy, growing,and  learning. They have attitudes that stink at times, they may have disabilities or may not be the child that sits quietly to color,they may not listen all the time when I’m telling them about the Lord but I know that God has opened their ears to hear what he says and I know that he will keep them. Our struggles aren’t for us or because God doesn’t like us. They are for his glory and we were chosen to help execute that plan. We as mothers must not forget that when we get tired or weary. We must learn to be faithful in giving our children up to the Lord and teaching them and admonishing them in the Lord. We must grow with them in love and be active in showing them as well as telling them. True authentic christian character is about holding fast to God, letting him fill our hearts and walking with a righteous reputation unto him. I thank God for the lesson in obedience that he has to teach me over and over; because when trials come it’s easy to forget how good he is and what he’s done but when I let his peace rule in my heart and his joy comfort me, that is a friendly reminder that my life nor theirs is not our own.

God’s peace

Choose Love

Nykiah